Star Harbor Nights

Alexandra Erin is widely suspected to have put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp, but never went near the ram-a-lam-a-ding-dong, as several reliable witnesses can attest. She is the creator and writer of Star Harbor Nights and is skilled in multiple styles of self-defense, including "not getting into a fight in the first place" and "blaming somebody else for whatever pissed someone off."

 Quinn Isley serves as co-plotter for the series, though she hopes to get time off for good behavior (not likely.) She created Crescent Bay and contributed many of the better-adjusted characters to the universe. In her spare time, she searches the pages of Wikipedia for hidden messages a la "The Bible Code." At one point she found a hidden prophesy that foretold the ultimate outcome of the 2008 presidential election, but it was removed due to lack of citations.

Sonya Kenderdragon pitches ideas and epileptic fits, during which she communicates even more ideas which are fed to her from a higher power identified in court papers as "Mr. Shwiggly."  Due to a mix-up at the local biotech enhancement center, she can now smell in the dark, feel a mouse's heart beat, hear fear, read print off a newspaper by tasting it, and see the tiniest amount of poison.